Heron's Reach

Another new housing development has appeared in my fair village, this time going by the name of Heron’s Reach. I’ve no idea how large a heron’s reach is, or for that matter what it has to do with affordable housing for professional couples. I would have thought Heron’s wingspan would be more correct biologically speaking. However, I’ve recently wondered if the reach is, in fact, referring to the social reach of the lone bird. Perhaps the ‘lovingly designed cul-de-sac’ is actually a collection of safe houses and gambling dens for those lucky enough to be covered by the connections of the heron.

Either way we’re only one word away from Heron’s Reach Around, which adds a whole new slant on proceedings. The next street to be built is to be named, I believe, Badger’s Felch, which will be next to Mole’s Docking, with the end street to be called Toad of Toad Hall’s gay sex orgy.

So mafia influence or homosexual euphemism, both with the subject being a 3 foot wading bird; one of them is the reason for a street’s name. Take your pick, either way you’re paying £200K for a house on a street with a shit name.